How Married Men See Things!

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A man inserted an 'ad' on Yahoo....: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred and eleven E-mails. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

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Marriage is a 3 ring circus:
Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffer-ring.

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The last fight my wife and I had was my fault.
My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!" Then I woke up in the hospital.

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In the beginning, God created earth and rested. Then God created man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither God nor man has rested.

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My wife and I are inseparable. In fact, last week it took four state troopers and a police dog to keep us apart.

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Why do men die before their wives? They want to.

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A beggar walked up to a well dressed woman shopping on Rodeo Drive and said "I haven't eaten anything in four days."

She looked at him and said, "God, I wish I had your willpower."

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Do you know the punishment for bigamy?
Two mothers-in-law.

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Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?

Father: That happens in every country, son.

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The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

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First man (proudly): "My wife's an angel"
Second man: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

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Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

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Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late."