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| Early Retirement | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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To: All Company Employee Subject: Early Retirement As a result of the reduction of money budgeted for department areas, we are forced to cut down on our number of personnel. Under this plan, older employees will be asked to take early retirement, thus permitting the retention of younger people who represent our future. Therefore, a program to phase out older personnel by the end of the current fiscal year, via retirement, will be placed into effect immediately. This program will be known as SLAP (Sever Late-Aged Personnel). Employees who are SLAPPED will be given the opportunity to look for jobs outside the company. SLAPPED employees can request a review of their employment records before actual retirement takes place. This review phase of the program is called SCREW. SCREW (Survey of Capabilities of Retired Early Workers). All employees who have been SLAPPED and SCREWED may
file an appeal with upper management. This appeal is called SHAFT (Study by Higher
Authority Following Termination). Under the terms of the new policy, an employee may be
SLAPPED once, SCREWED twice, but may be SHAFTED as many times as the company deems
appropriate. If an employee follows the above procedure, he/she will be entitled to get: Signed: The Management |
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