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1. If you do a good job and work hard, you may get a job with a better company someday. 2. It's only unethical if you get caught. 3. The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cuts. 4. We put the "k" in "kwality" 5. If something doesn't feel right, you're not feeling the right thing. 6. Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity! 7. A person who smiles in the face of adversity probably has a scapegoat. 8. ABANDON ALL HOPE, ALL YE WHO ENTER HERE. 9. We make great money! We have great benefits! We do no work! We are union members! 10. 2 days without a Human Rights Violation! 11. Your job is still better than asking "You want fries with that?" 12. If at first you don't succeed, try management. 13. At least you're not being rectally probed by aliens. 14. Never quit until you have another job.
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