A small town prosecuting attorney called his
first witness to the stand in a trial -- a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her
and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
She responded, "Why, yes, I do know
you Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy. And frankly, you've been a
big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk
about them behind their backs. You think you're a rising big shot when you haven't the
brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes,
I know you."
The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what
else to do he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Williams, do you know the
defense attorney?"
She again replied, "Why, yes I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster,
too. I used to baby sit him for his parents. And he, too, has been a real disappointment
to me. He's lazy, bigoted, he has a drinking problem. The man can't build a normal
relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the shoddiest in the entire state.
Yes, I know him."
At this point, the judge rapped the
courtroom to silence and called both counselors to the bench. In a very quiet voice, he
said with menace, "If either of you asks her if she knows me, you'll be jailed for
contempt!"