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A married Irishman went into the confessional & said to his priest, "I almost had an affair  with another woman." 

The priest said, "What do you mean, almost?" 

The Irishman said, "Well, we got undressed & rubbed together, but then I stopped." 

The priest said, "Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You're not to see that woman  again. For your penance, say five Hail Mary's & put $50 in the poor box." 

The Irishman left the confessional, said his prayers, & then walked over to the poor box.  He paused for a moment & then started to leave.

The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying, "I saw that. You didn't put any money in the poor box!" 

The Irishman replied, "Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, & according to you, that's the same as putting it in!"

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