This is purported to be a true story from a disgruntled Southwest Airlines employee.
Supposedly on one flight the
stewardess made the usual preflight announcement with a bit of humor.
She said, "Welcome aboard
Southwest Flight XXX, to YYY. To operate your seatbelt, insert the metal tab into the
buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seatbelt, and if you don't know how
to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised.
"In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will descend from the
ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small
child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are
traveling with two small children, decide now, which one you love more.
"Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but they'll try to
have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your
money, more than Southwest Airlines."
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