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Performance Reviews
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What those words on yearly performance reviews REALLY mean.

1. Outgoing Personality - Always going out of the office.
2. Great Presentation Skills - Able to bullshit.
3. Good Communication Skills - Spends lots of time on phone.
4. Work is First Priority - Too ugly to get a date.
5. Active Socially - Drinks a lot, possibly a slut.
6. Independent Worker - Nobody knows what he/she does.
7. Quick Thinking - Offers plausible excuses.
8. Careful Thinker - Won't make a decision.
9. Uses Logic On Difficult Jobs - Gets someone else to do it.
10. Expresses Themselves Well - Speaks English.
11. Meticulous Attention to Detail - A nit picker.
12. Has Leadership Qualities - Is tall or has louder voice.
13. Exceptionally Good Judgement - Lucky.
14. Keen Sense of Humor - Knows a lot of dirty jokes.
15. Career Minded - Back stabber.
16. Loyal - Can't get a job anywhere else.
17. Plans for Promotion/Advancement - Buys drinks for all the boys.
18. Of Great Value to the Organization - Gets to work on time.
19. Relaxed Attitude - Sleeps at desk.
    

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